(You Get to...) Choose Your Pain

Over the past couple of weeks we have explored the idea that life is hard. It's not always hard, and not all aspects of life are hard, but let's be honest, life is hard.

Yes, life is good and it's bad. Life is easy and life is hard. Life is a mountain top experience and life is a valley.

The writer of Ecclesiastes puts it this way...

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

But sometimes life feels like those seasons overlap. I have suggested that life is like railroad tracks; both/and not either/or. We generally get both at the same time.

And the sooner we accept that life can be hard, the better off we can be...potentially.

Last week I suggested doing some self-assessment of the major areas of our lives to gauge where we currently stand...for example, in our relationships, our health, our finances, our spiritual lives and careers for starters.

I want to interject here that I realize not all hardships and pain of life are within our control.

We can't control natural disasters, some illnesses, the past, what others say about us, or aging for example. I can't stop the fact that I'm turning 60 this year...yikes!

Today, I want to ask you to consider this...while life has it's pain and hardship, some of which we can't control...we can still choose.

When it comes to pain...we can choose. When it comes to hardship...we can choose. In fact I want to encourage you today, that you can choose your hard. In fact, I would argue you already are.

Let me explain.

When it comes to our health.

We can choose the hard discipline of regular exercise paired with a healthy diet; or we can choose the pain of heart disease, obesity, lethargy and other ailments.

The problem we face is, the pain of discipline doesn't bare fruit quickly, while the pain of laziness is delayed, and often pays off positively immediately. I'd much rather eat a plate of cookies (immediate gratification) than drink a healthy protein shake but I get to choose. I can choose to workout, even when progress seems slow or I can push the snooze button and eat whatever I want. But I get to choose.

When it comes to marriage. we can choose the hard of effort, communication, time together, and prioritizing our spouse or we can choose the pain of separation and divorce.

(I've walked the road of separation and divorce with countless people over the years, and it's almost always way more painful then people expected. Culturally we talk about it like paper towels separating on the perforated line...all nice and clean. When in reality, it's more like two people being ripped apart, with open wounds, bleeding and hurts that don't heal easily...no matter how many dates you go on.)

So we can choose the pain of working at our marriages or the pain when we don't.

How about our finances? It's hard to be disciplined...to save, to live within our means, to avoid debt as much as possible, and to avoid buying things because somebody else already has and we deserve it.

Or we can choose the pain of overwhelming debt, and the stress and anxiety that accompanies it.

Those are just three examples of how we get to choose the pain we want in our lives....but make no mistake you and I choose every day.

Craig Groeschel, in his book, "The Power to Change" puts it this way...

"The bottom line is, you can't avoid pain. The question is: Will you choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret? I have found that the pain of regret is always worse than the pain of discipline." (p79-80)

So let me ask you...where in your life are you avoiding present pain of discipline for the future pain of regret?

It's likely the area of your life that you think about the most, while at the same time trying to ignore the hardest.

Life will never be easy. Life is hard.

Being fit is hard...being out of shape is hard.

Marriage is hard...divorce is hard.

Wise money management is hard...overwhelming debt with no financial margin is hard.

But we get to choose our hard. Choose wisely!

And if you need some help...give me a call.

Until next time - Dan