What Do You Do When Life Goes Sideways?

The other day I was having a conversation with a client about the reality of unmet expectations and how they can lead to frustration, disappointment and even anger; which in turn can have a negative impact on our relationships if we're not careful.

I think this all-too-common experience doesn't just play out in our everyday experiences or close relationships but can be a challenge spiritually too.

Let me explain.

Over the past few weeks we have taken a look at how we can have a misguided view of our spiritual life or relationship with God...we can see Him as a nice-to-have, add-on to our lives, on equal footing as the other important areas of our lives; or we can see God as a final puzzle piece to complete the picture we want our life to be.

Jesus has promised for those who follow Him...the abundant life. (John 10:10) But He's not just another area of our life, or the final piece to our lives.

Another way we are prone to distort what the abundant life is; is to believe that with God, life should always go well; that when we invite God into our lives, all the other areas of our lives, our relationships, careers, finances, health etc should thrive.

Old Testament Thinking

In the Old Testament the entire structure of the Mosaic Law is summarized in Deuteronomy 28, where Moses presents the people of Israel with a clear choice:

• The Blessing: "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands... All these blessings will come on you and accompany you..." (Deuteronomy 28:1–2). This included physical protection, military victory, fertile land, healthy livestock, and financial abundance.
• The Curse: "However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all his commands... all these curses will come on you and overtake you..." (Deuteronomy 28:15). This included disease, famine, defeat by enemies, and ultimately, exile from the Promised Land.

It's true that in the Old Testament, obedience lead to blessing and disobedience lead to God's wrath and judgement. When you read through Israel's history, (God's chosen people) you will see a familiar cycle of disobedience, wrath, repentance, blessings...then it starts all over again...and again...and again.

So naturally we would expect the same kind of relationship, right?

Wrong! In fact, I'm concerned that when we get this wrong it can derail us because of unmet expectations.

Under the Old Covenant, if you disobeyed, you received the wrath. In the New Covenant, Jesus took the disobedience of humanity upon Himself and absorbed the full wrath of God on the cross.

This is the good news! The gospel itself! "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us..."(Galatians 3:13).

In the New Covenant, when a person places their faith in Christ, they are "in Christ." Therefore, God treats the believer as if they have been perfectly obedient, giving them the blessing Jesus earned.

"...who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3).

Here's where it gets challenging for you and me. We can start to believe that the blessings God promises are material...some TV talking heads distort the gospel and tell us God wants us to enjoy prosperity and healthy lives; and we can believe it.

I'm convinced that we can almost without thinking, obey God, by going to church, praying, reading the Bible and being generous...(all good things) with the mindset that God should be pleased with our effort, and in turn ensure our families are safe, that we always have more than we need and that life will generally go well for us.

The problem is, the New Testament promises just the opposite.

"In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Hardships—including trouble, persecution, famine, or danger—cannot separate a believer from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:35-39

Believers are told not to be surprised by the "fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you," but to rejoice in sharing Christ's sufferings. 1 Peter 4:12-13

After a brief period of suffering, "the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:10

It seems clear, that in this life, we should expect trials and difficult times. So it would be dangerous to assume otherwise, wouldn't it?

I hear Christians quote Jeremiah 29:11 ad nauseam "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future...”

But here's the problem. It isn't a promise to you and me. At least not in the way we might think it is. It was a promise to Israel who was in captivity at the time. (Sorry if you have this tattooed on your forearm)

This verse is in line with the Old Testament covenant of blessings and cursings based on obedience and disobedience.

In the New Covenant our promised blessings and prosperity are found in Jesus himself, and ultimately realized as we spend eternity with Him.

In the New Covenant we obey because we have already been saved, loved, and blessed.

Do you see the difference? Easier said than done right? I get it.

But our blessings are spiritual. We have everything we will ever need in this life, if we only have Jesus. He is the abundant life.

No matter what happens in this life.

In Jesus, we have forgiveness of sin (I need that more and more); we have the ability to persevere in difficult times, we can experience and live out the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace...) and eternal life, forever with God.

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:16-17

So to me, when life goes sideways (and it will) we can either choose to raise our fist at God with an attitude of "how dare you?" or we can lean into God, knowing that He has promised to use all things for our good, and knowing that we already have everything we will ever need for this life and the life after this one, in Jesus.

That's the abundant life.

What do you think?

Until next time - Dan