Life Is a Series of Goodbyes

I met Keith when I was 14 years old. I was attending our church, summer camp in Selkirk, Ontario and Keith was the guest speaker for the week, and I was placed in his cabin (years later I discovered this was because no one else wanted me in theirs).

We actually hit it off and I thought he was kinda cool for an old guy. I think he was 39 at the time.

The following year, Keith was hired as the youth pastor at my church, and soon into his tenure there, he took it upon himself to visit me. I remember it well. It was a Thursday afternoon @ 4pm when I responded to a knock at the door.

I was less than cordial and wasn't interested in having a conversation, and clearly told him in no uncertain terms, to f- off.

So he left.

Then he showed up the next Thursday at 4pm...

And the Thursday after that...and the Thursday after that.

Slowly, I let him in a little at a time, and to make a long story short, Keith became a invaluable mentor to me.

For some reason, even back at camp, Keith took it upon himself to invest in me, even though I was not a very nice person and my life was spiralling out of control.

Keith remained a constant influence in my life, through many ups and downs, and over 45 years our relationship continued to grow and evolve.

Eventually he became a spiritual father to me and had a huge influence on me throughout my adult life. I learned so much from him about how to connect with people and build relationships, and applied these things to my pastoral work, counselling practice, coaching and even as an entrepreneur. His influence made an significant difference in virtually anything I did.

Our relationship spanned 45 years...

And last week I had to say goodbye. Keith passed away quietly after a battle with dementia and some other health issues. After just a few days in hospice, he was gone.

Technically every goodbye could be the last, but over the past few years whenever we would visit, we knew our good bye might be it.

I'm grateful that even in our last conversation a few weeks ago, Keith was feeling well and he knew who I was and we had a wonderful chat.

But the news of his passing last week, hit hard. And there have been so many times since, I've wanted to call or sent a text before remembering he's not there.

I've said it for a long time now, but the truth is, life is a series of goodbyes.

Think about it. How many times do you and I say goodbye? Just think back over the years and consider that.

Sure, some goodbyes are relatively insignificant but there are so many more that mean something and are extremely difficult.

So with goodbyes being such a significant part of our experience, what can we do?

Make The Most of Our Hellos

If life is filled with goodbyes, that also means that life is filled with hellos...you can't have one without the other.

So let's make the most of our hellos. That's my takeaway, as I think of Keith.

Of course, there are different levels of hellos. I mean, a hello to a barista is one thing, but saying hello to your first child is something altogether different and of course, way more significant.

All the more reason to be mindful of our hellos.

I think of it in concentric circles.

The smallest circle includes those closest to us; our family; those who require our financial, emotional and spiritual support. This circle includes my closest friends too.

The next circle may include those we work with, or enjoy recreation with.

Then it's people we come in contact with more randomly, like when we are on vacation, or visit a store or cafe. Maybe you will say hello to a new teacher, classmate, a potential spouse or a new co-worker.

Each of these circles involve saying hello...and every hello requires something of us. And every hello is an opportunity for us to make a difference in someone's life.

I wasn't very receptive to Keith's hellos in the beginning, but he persevered and made a huge impact on my life, my family and thousands of other people over the course of his.

This is his legacy...his intentional impact on others.

I want to carry on his legacy and I encourage you to think about all the hellos you make in your life.

Yes, life is a series of goodbyes, but that means we have so many hellos to take advantage of...opportunities to make a difference.

Let's do that.

And, goodbye Keith.

Until next time - Dan