I'm Sorry, But...January, A High School Reunion or An Upcoming Vacation Are Stupid Reasons to Make a Change

As a life coach I am very much in favour of assessing our lives, and determining where changes are needed, then creating a plan to move in that new direction toward a new goal.

I just don't think things like the calendar changing or planning for a wedding, reunion or vacation are good enough reasons to do it.

Sure, dropping a few dress sizes, or showing off a six-pack, or changing your eating or spending habits are all good.

But I'm convinced that if the above serve as our motivation for change, it's likely not going to happen...at least not for very long.

Plus consider this...

What if the reunion or flight is cancelled?

Or what about after the reunion? What then? Do you go back to the way things were before, or are you hoping you will be entrenched in healthy regular habits?

And that's the challenge isn't it?

I mean, it's late January and I'm sure the crowds at the gyms are already thinning out.

Choose Your Why Before Your What

If you really want to create lasting changes in your life, then I would suggest you consider the question, "Why do I want to change?" before you choose what to change.

But here's the challenge...

Your why has to actually matter. I mean, really matter in order for you to follow through, and I just don't think a new year or vacation are important enough reasons to disrupt your normal day to day routine.

In my book "Vantage Point: Five Perspectives to Live a Better Story"

I ask the reader to do something different. I ask them to think about how they want to be remembered; like what they would want others to say about them at their funeral.

This is not morbid, it's powerful. It's a meaningful way to decide who you want to be. Your core values and what's most important to you will come to the surface as you work through this process.

I have written my eulogy (and included it in the book) which now servers as a framework for how I want to live my life. I think about the roles I play...husband, father, grandfather, friend etc. The things I want to accomplish and the person I want to be remembered as.

For example, I choose a healthy lifestyle in part, because I want to be a functional grandpa. I don't recall my grandparents ever playing with me...they never threw a ball or played street hockey or went for a walk with me. I want to be actively involved in the lives of my grandkids for as long as possible...so I workout regularly, I walk and focus on nutrition 90% of the time.

That's my why. One of them anyway.

So what about you?

Do you have a compelling why? Something that really means something to you? Something beyond impressing someone on the beach or making an old classmate jealous :)

I often ask my clients to complete a life assessment to offer a baseline of where they are at. They rate from 1-10, the different areas of their life like finances, health, marriage, recreation, spiritual life etc

This simple exercise helps reveal where they are doing well and where they need to give some attention.

Then we choose one area to focus on and begin to ask the why questions.

Why does this matter to them now?

Why do they want to make changes?

What core values influence this area of their life?

From there we create a plan of action.

But it all really starts with identifying a compelling "WHY"

But if you are you stuck and not sure where to start...

Let's chat. It never hurts to talk to someone and it may just be the start you need to make the changes you want.

Next week we will look at the one thing you may be missing, to live a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Until then,

Dan