If Solitude is So Good For Us, Why Don't We Do It More?

Over the past few weeks I have agued the value of setting aside time on a regular basis for quiet; just quiet, without screens, music or any other form of distraction.

I've even argued the tremendous cost that we pay, emotionally, physically, relationally and spiritually when we don't slow down long enough to embrace solitude.

Today, I want to offer some reasons why we still struggle; perhaps you will see yourself somewhere here, but with the belief that we can change things for the better.

We Don't Prioritize It

Maybe for you, even if you see the benefit of solitude, you just don't make it a priority. It's just not high enough on the list of things that matter to you.

We Try to Fit It In, Rather Than Fitting Our Lives Around It

Like trying to fit into pants, two sizes too small; when we try to squeeze solitude into our lives, that already have little margin, it's not likely to happen. There are simply too many options that fight for our attention for it to happen naturally.

We're Too Tired

If we're unhealthy; if we don't get enough sleep, we don't eat well or get enough exercise, we tend to defer to "veg out in front of the TV" rather than embrace solitude. As odd as that may sound, I believe it's true nonetheless. It's easier to watch TV than sit in silence.

Solitude As a Foundation For More

As a Christian, I would suggest that solitude is something we should prioritize because it was something that Jesus modelled for us.

"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." Mark 1:35

Jesus did this on a regular basis during His three years of ministry, and took solitude to another level, which included prayer. And if you grew up in church like I did, you probably heard things like "quiet time" or "personal devotions" which suggested we do things beyond just sitting quietly, to include things like reading the Bible and praying on a regular basis.

If these things are important and Jesus modelled them for us, shouldn't Christians be leading the way here? Shouldn't we be the ones who more naturally do the things associated with quiet time?

Maybe...so why do we still struggle to do them?

First I would say that we battle the same things as anyone else; misplaced priorities, poor planning and fatigue.

But I'd like to offer up a few other observations...

We Don't Know How to Do It

I think it's okay to admit we just don't know something. If you've never been encouraged to, or taught how, how could you know?

The Local Church Doesn't Model it.

It's been my experience in the evangelical church, that we prefer noise over quiet. We have stages with bands and lights and a message, but outside a 30-second "opening or closing prayer" we don't experience quiet.

Sometimes a church service can feel more like a concert, stage show or worse a game show with all the programmed parts, to engage and entertain.

I'm an introvert that leans into quiet more than some I admit, but where is the space for solitude, reflection and meditation? If Jesus practiced it, shouldn't we?

The Local Church Doesn't Teach It

If your church is "noisy" it likely isn't instructing you on the spiritual discipline of quiet and solitude. I believe it was Dallas Willard who when asked, "How do we grow spiritually?" said, "I would start with reading the Bible and solitude."

We Don't Understand the Bible

I hear this from people and it's a real problem for sure. If we are told that reading the Bible is important, but we don't usually understand what we're reading, then no doubt we will lose motivation or the desire to continue. I get it.

I'm not into fiction. I don't read novels and I don't care for sci-fi movies. When people talk about "The Lord of the Rings" my eyes glaze over. Mostly because it's a genre I'm not familiar with so I don't have an interest in it.

When we don't "get" the Bible, we're not likely going to give it much attention.

From Solitude to Meditation

Now, you might be saying, "Okay Dan, now you want to me to not only find time for solitude, but now I have to read the Bible and pray too?"

Hey, I think setting aside time to just sit quietly, whether in your favourite chair, on your back deck, or near water or on a mountain top is a wonderful thing to do. But I want to explore how we can embrace the spiritual disciplines of prayer and reading the Bible in a way that takes solitude to a whole other level.

We will be hiking the Rocky mountains next week, with good friends, hopefully finding some solitude above the clouds, but when I return we will take a closer look at what meditation is and what it can mean for you and me.

Until then - Dan