I Love A Good Question: Avoid This One at Your Peril

Years ago a woman came into my counselling office, quite distraught. After spending some time with her, we determined that she had been experiencing a series of panic attacks over the previous few weeks. She had never experienced one in the past and she was concerned with what was going on.

If you've never had a panic attack, you might just blow this off as insignificant. If you have had one, you know they can be overwhelming.

While they aren't particularly harmful, symptoms such as shortness of breath, dizziness, racing heart rate, lack of focus, sweating, numbness, difficulty breathing, and chest pains, feeling like you're having a heart attack, overwhelming and irrational thoughts; well, let's just say they can sure ruin your day.

At its most basic level, a panic attack is partly a burst of adrenaline that seems impossible to manage.

Imagine standing on the curb of a busy street holding the hand of your small child, when they suddenly let go and run straight toward danger. You would experience a sudden rush of adrenaline beyond your control.

That's kind of what a panic attack feels like but with less clarity as to why it was happening in the first place.

As I continued to listen to my client, she shared more of what was going on in her life and I came to understand that she had recently had a disagreement with her best friend. A lifelong relationship had been blown up and she could hardly explain why.

She thought she had "put it out of her mind" and for some time she had ignored the situation, hoping it would somehow get resolved. She knew she needed to do something, but again, she kept putting it off.

I asked if she thought her panic attacks were her bodies way of telling her, she had some unfinished business to take care of.

What Are You Avoiding?

That's the question. What are you avoiding, or putting off?

Now, the challenge is, that you might want to quickly dismiss this as irrelevant. But I would challenge you to just sit with it for a few minutes, and honestly ask yourself if there is anything at all. Don't skip over this.

I don't know what it might be, but it's a great question.

I use it often with clients because the answers often reveal what may be most important to them, and something worth giving attention to.

Continuing to put things off, can come back to bite us if we're not careful.

My client eventually went to her friend to have the conversation she dreaded having, the one she put off for months. It turned out her friend had no idea that this was going on and had wondered herself why the friendship was fractured. They continued to talk and get things out in the open, and eventually their friendship was restored...and her panic attacks went away.

Our bodies have an incredible way of telling us there is something wrong...it's our own way of calling a "time out" something needs attention.

So let me ask you again.

What are you avoiding?

Maybe...

A habit you want to start

A habit you want to stop

A business decision weighing on you

A relationship that needs attention

A relationship that needs to end

What is something you know you should do, or stop doing but you haven't yet? Something that perhaps you've buried away thinking it's insignificant, but instead, maybe it needs to become a priority. If it's important enough, then I encourage you to take action...before your body does it for you.

Like my friend who never checked the mail because he only found bills when he did, the more we avoid something that deep down we know is important, the more likely things will get worse.

In my experience, panic attacks are often the result of unfinished business and avoiding doing what needs to be done.

Time to take action!