How I Mislead My Clients, Every Time!

One of the best parts of being a life coach is that I get a close-up glimpse into my clients life; where they've come from, where they are at and where they hope to go.

As a coach, I don't have an agenda other than helping my clients establish some goals and determine a plan in how to reach them. Together we get clarity on where they are currently and where they hope to be in the future.

Basically we identify the gap between where they are and where they want to be; and to help us get on the same page, I almost always use a self-assessment tool to get a sense of where my client sees themself now.

The one I'm currently using the most is one called Wheel of Life where I ask my client to assess themselves in 8 life categories.

The assessments are helpful for many reasons and a non-threatening way to get helpful feedback. There are no wrong answers; just your own determination.

It really is a helpful tool.

The life wheel includes things like health & fitness, finances and careers, and if you keep looking you will see a category for spirituality. This is where the tool falls short, in my opinion.

One, the word spirituality is a very general words with a multitude of subjective understandings. That's okay for me since I don't assume anything about my clients before we get to know each other. I could use faith or God, but not everyone has a category for that.

But where this assessment falls short is that it implies at least, that spirituality is just another spoke on the wheel. That it has equal importance in our lives.

That is where I may be misleading my clients. For me, God and more specifically my Christian faith isn't just another area of life that ranks the same as the others in terms of importance. For me, it is set apart and most important of all.

The metaphor of the life wheel proposes that if you score relatively high in all your life areas then the wheel will roll smoothly, and suggest that you are thriving in all things.

But again, the Christian faith isn't an add-on like you're ordering a special espresso drink (I'm sitting in the cafe right now so that just came to me).

Previously we looked at Jesus' words, "When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, 'Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.'"

Jesus' call to follow Him is an "all-in kinda thing isn't it?

How about these words, "Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment." Matt 22:37-38

Sounds to me that our relationship with God through Jesus is most important.

How about Paul's words, "Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Phil 3:8.

The modern translations sanitize what Paul really says here. Rubbish is actually manure, dung, or excrement.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of wiggle room; Paul makes it pretty clear...nothing in this world matters as much as knowing Jesus.

Perhaps a life assessment that reflects this would look different from the one I use now; and maybe I should create it. But for now I will continue using this one; mostly because the assessment is just a starting point. It gives us a baseline and helps me understand where my client is at when we begin working together.

But make no mistake, in spite of the how the assessment looks, it doesn't communicate the priority of not just our spirituality but the ultimate importance of our relationship with God.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?

Regardless, I encourage you to take the assessment for yourself. In general, as you think about your life, how would you score yourself in all 8 life areas.

Q. Where are you doing well?

Q. Where do you see some gaps?

Q. What one area of your life would you change if you could?

Q. What's stopping you from making the changes you want to see?

Want to talk? Give me a call

Until next time - Dan