Are You Still Pursuing the Ever-Elusive Work/Life Balance? Try This Instead
I don't hear as much about work/life balance as much as I use to, but it probably is still something many, maybe you are trying to figure out.
To be honest, I've never understood the idea, from the perspective that balance in life seems impossible.
What does balance actually mean anyway?
We can't devote the same amount of time or energy to each area of our lives can we? Maybe we can, and I just haven't figured it out yet...that's possible.
If you sleep for 8 hours you have 16 left to divide among the responsibilities and activities that make up your day. Take 8 hours of work off the table and you're left with 8. 8 hours for family, exercise, hobbies, commuting, etc. Do you divide 8 hours evenly between them all? I don't think so.
Instead of going after the impossible, can I suggest an alternative?
I like to think of it as the 100% rule.
Here it is.
Whatever you are doing, do it with 100% effort. That's it.
Here's what it could look like.
- Focusing on one thing at a time (multitasking is another myth by the way)
So if you're playing with your kids, play with them...don't try to finish a work project at the same time.
Working out? You will get the best results from intense, focused effort.
Talking with your spouse? Sit and make eye contact...better yet, make physical contact too.
Meeting a friend for coffee? Leave the phone in the car or at least in your pocket, and give them your full attention.
- Eliminating distractions as much as possible.
Speaking of phones; they are one of the biggest culprits here aren't they; and one of the biggest challenges, especially when you want to be available for your family and friends. The problem is you always feel like you are "on-call". At least I do.
Sometimes you just have to turn off notifications or at least minimize them.
Creating the most conducive environments help too. That's why we don't have a TV in the bedroom, and I don't read in bed. The bedroom is for two things only.
Keep your workspace clean and orderly.
- Being intentional about what you will spend your time on.
Sometimes, giving 100% to what you're doing is best achieved when we choose very intentionally what we will do. As I always say, "When you say "yes" to something, you're saying "no" to something else." For me, this is best achieved when we decide ahead of time what our priorities will be. Determining our calendars rather than being controlled by them helps.
Maybe we need to say yes a little less.
- Be Present
If we follow these guidelines what we're choosing ultimately is that we will be present...we will be in the moment. It amazes me to see how many people seem to watch life through their phone, like a sporting event, or music concert. People might be about to watch one of the greatest golf shots of all time, and they are watching it through their phone!! I don't get it.
I'm not against having a phone, we all do, but it seems that our phones are a common threat to being 100% focused on the one thing we can do at a time...all the more reason to be diligent in trying to keep it in check.
So...
When you're working? Work (I've heard that the average office worker gets 2 hours of work done a day...yikes)
When you're playing? Play
When you're sleeping? Sleep. Don't try to fall asleep to Netflix.
Whatever you do, do it 100%. For me, a much better way to spend my day then chasing after the ever-elusive work/life balance.
What do you think?
What would you add or change?
Until next time - Dan