Maybe Your Flaws Are Not Flaws After All

The other day at our cafe a customer came over to me and commented on how beautiful our tables are. Hardly a day goes by that someone doesn’t mention them so they come up in conversation a lot. Richard, a friend of ours graciously made them from black walnut before we opened in 2015. They look awesome and add so much to our space.

On this occasion, the man was referring to a particular 4-seat table that sits in the front window and so I proceeded to tell him the story of how this table almost never came to be.

As it was being sanded it split. And at first we weren’t sure how to fix it or even if it could be. But Richard came up with a plan that included adding epoxy to fill in the gaps which in the end, helped turn it into a beautiful, unique piece of furniture.

Of all the tables, it’s my favorite. Like a signature hole on a golf course, this table stands out among the rest of the beautiful tables.

The customer was taken by it as well. Then he said something to me I took notice of…he said, “This table is perfection.”

What a great perspective.

Instead of seeing the split wood and the epoxy-filled hole as flaws, he saw the beauty of the piece as it now was. In fact it stands out because of it’s flaws.

Why Do We See Flaws as Failures?

I think this is easy for us to do…why?

We focus on what we don’t have

When we look at others’ strengths, personalities, abilities etc we can easily be lured into thinking that we don’t measure up, simply because we are different. We inadvertently put a greater importance on what they have rather than what we bring.

Have you ever visited someone in their home you think is nicer than your own? What do you do? You begin to see what yours is missing. Right? We all do it.

We compare ourselves to others

The act of comparison itself sets us up to feel worse about ourselves. I’m not suggesting that we should think too highly of ourselves, but comparing at all can leave us frustrated. Theodore Rosevelt is quoted as saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”    

We downplay our own uniqueness

Maybe it’s false modesty or true self-loathing but it can be our default to simply minimize even what others see in us. The problem with this mindset is that it’s only when we understand our uniqueness, that we can begin to understand the impact our lives can make.

What You Think Is a Flaw, Is What Makes You Unique

My wife and I are very different…no surprise, right? It’s been said that in relationships, the things that you are originally attracted to can become the very point of contention later on. But if I insisted that Kathy change those things that make her who she is, she’d stop being herself.

What I might see as a flaw is actually her unique character that makes her uniquely awesome.

As family therapy pioneer, Virginia Satir once said, “We come together in our sameness, but grow in our differences.”

Maybe it’s human nature to desire what others have; but what if your flaws are meant to highlight the unique way in which God has created you, to impact the world around you.

Maybe, what you consider to be a flaw is what makes you…you?

At my home church our current sermon series, “What’s The Point” takes a closer look at finding life’s meaning and purpose. Part of that discussion is about understanding how each of us has been designed; that we are all unique in our abilities, personalities, temperaments and passions.

Why on earth would we want to strive to be like someone else?

Your Flaws May Be Your Greatest Contribution

I did some checking and we estimate that over 10,000 people have sat at that 4-seat table since we opened the cafe in 2015. Think of it…

  • the shared family lunches
  • the double dates
  • the friends reunited
  • the birthdays celebrated
  • the numerous work projects completed (free wifi doesn’t hurt)
  • the countless conversations

Imagine if we had decided to scrap it…because of some perceived flaws…flaws that actually set it apart from every other table. In fact there is no other table like it on the planet.

What could have been deemed a flaw has actually become it’s best feature and has served so many.

Q. Are you prone to see your unique features as flaws? Why do you think that is?

Q. Are you using your unique strengths and abilities in ways that honour God and impact your world? Why or why not?

Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.

What Will Your Legacy Be?

Last week I attended another funeral. Between attending and officiating I’ve been to my share, and then some, maybe you have too. This one was a close friend’s dad. I knew him too and I’m grateful that I was able to spend time with him earlier this year. Sometimes the most precious memories are the simplest ones.

The service was a celebration of his life and having spoken at my own dad’s funeral, I empathized with my friend who was given the responsibility of representing the siblings, capturing who his dad was and why he meant so much to so many. He did a great job and I laughed and cried.

Perhaps like no other situation, a funeral gives us reason to pause and think about our own lives. Not just our mortality but to me something that is equally important…that is, how we want to be remembered.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

Like I said, at a funeral it’s easy to think about these things because we are naturally confronted with big, life questions.

  • Why am I here?
  • Does my life have meaning?
  • Am I making the most of my life?

The problem is, it’s just as easy to dismiss these topics as soon as we hit the refreshment table (and those sandwiches with the crust cut off). Also, these types of questions can seem more philosophical in nature than practical, but I think they are significant.

How we are remembered is really the legacy we leave behind.

Webster’s Dictionary defines legacy as, “a gift by will especially of money or other personal property: bequest…She left us a legacy of a million dollars.”

But a legacy is so much more than money…

  • It’s what people believe about us
  • It’s how we made them feel
  • It’s what we taught them
  • It’s the impact we had on their lives
  • It’s the values we lived by

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

Legacy is what we talk about at funerals but it’s worth considering long before the end of our lives. And legacy is more than putting in time, it’s about making the most of the time we have for the sake of others.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

Here are 3 easy steps you can take to get clarity about who you are, who you want to be and the legacy you want to leave.

Step 1

Consider the various roles you live out now

  • Parent
  • Spouse
  • Child
  • Co-worker
  • Boss
  • Friend
  • Teammate
  • Other

Step 2

Start with the end in mind. 

Write a brief paragraph detailing what you hope others will say about you for each of your roles. (Imagine you are sitting and listening in at your own funeral…it’s not as morbid as it may sound…honest.) What are people saying about you?

Step 3

Create a plan to get you there. 

Q. What kind of person do you have to be, to leave the legacy you want to leave?

Q. What things will you need to stop doing?

Q. What things will you need to begin to do, that you’re not doing now?

Q. What difference will these changes make for you and others in your life?

Q. What is hindering you from making the changes you want to make?

 

It’s been said, that our future is determined by our daily choices. Deciding ahead of time how you want to be remembered will determine the choices you make today.

Q. How do you want to be remembered and what are you doing to ensure you will be?

Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.

 

How Netflix Can Help You Discover Your Calling and Purpose

Anyone who knows me well, knows I’m a Jason Bourne fan. I love the series of movies, now at five, but I especially appreciate the first three. Sorry Jeremy Renner; part four was okay, and I enjoyed the last instalment, but the first three stand out.

I could probably recite most of the lines. I’ve watched them more than I could count (I’m not suggesting that’s a good thing but it’s true). A number of years ago I spent a day in Paris on a layover, sitting at an outdoor cafe, listening to the sounds of the city and watching for Bourne…he didn’t show up. Yes, I was disappointed.

In case you don’t know, Jason Bourne is a CIA black-op who goes missing after a botched assignment. He’s rescued from the Mediterranean Sea but as he heals from two gun shot wounds in the back, he realizes he has no memory…he has no idea who he is and how he got to where he was.

The Bourne trilogy focuses on the story of how this CIA agent, suffering from amnesia begins to learn who he is, and discover that he doesn’t like what learns about himself…essentially that he’s a trained assassin. Bourne then goes on his own mission to rediscover who he is and take back his life from the agency that has been controlling it; all while the CIA does all it can to take out the rogue agent before he can do more damage to the covert organization.

From the storyline, to the car chases to the martial arts and cinematography…(that’s how I justify watching them again and again…for the cinematography) I love these movies.

What Do Your Favorite Movies Say About You?

I believe that God has created each one of us for a specific purpose and given us all we need to carry out the things He has for us to do. But understanding our mission and our purpose is not always so simple or straightforward.

Have you ever stopped to consider what your favorite movies say about you? And do you think it’s possible to gain insights into your own calling and purpose through the movies you watch? I think it is.

I’m talking about calling and purpose as the things we do in our lives related to our work…the things we do to be productive…the things we do that we hope will make a difference to those around us.

I’m not suggesting that getting clarity about our calling is simply analyzing our entertainment viewing habits, but they can give us clues.

One of the most powerful ways to understand our calling is to consider the themes of our lives. It is linked to our experiences, both positive and negative, and the meaning we give them

Looking back over our lives and identifying themes give us clues.

Our favorite movies can give us clues too. Some of my favorite movies include “The Bourne Trilogy” and “A Few Good Men”. And while these are completely different movies, their common themes are why I like them.

Let me explain.

  • Jason Bourne didn’t like who he was and determined to change. He overcomes incredible odds…near fatal wounds, a covert CIA who wants to eliminate him, not to mention he isn’t sure who he is, to change the direction his life was going.
  • Lt. Daniel Kaffee, an inexperienced US Navy lawyer who appears to like baseball more than law, who seems to be more of a class clown than a litigator for the armed forces, was thrown into a court marshal case, expected to be a screw-up and fail, with the hopes of preserving the reputation of the Armed Forces Marine Corp. But Kaffee leads a brilliant defense, even with the deck stacked against him and gets his clients off of the most serious of charges.

The themes that I easily recognize in my favorite movies include things like:

  • overcoming obstacles due to circumstances and poor choices
  • exceeding others expectations
  • overcoming self-doubt
  • succeeding in spite of others judgment
  • moving from selfish ambition to empowering and inspiring others to face their fears and reach their potential

Those are the kind of themes that draw me in because they reflect much of my own experience. But even more than just mirroring my life, past and present, they reflect what my life is about now…I hope.

  • I’ve been the class clown
  • I’ve been the screw up.
  • I’ve been selfish
  • I’ve lacked empathy for others
  • I’ve struggled to know what my potential is
  • I’ve had to overcome poor choices to change the trajectory of my life
  • I want to inspire others to make the most of their lives.
  • I want to encourage, equip and motivate people to be all that they can be..all God has created them to be.

Those last two, reflect my purpose as I understand it. For the bulk of my adult life I have tried to inspire, encourage, motivate, challenge, support and guide people so they can experience more, live more and be more…reaching their God-given potential.

I believe that is my mission and my purpose and what gives meaning to my life. The work I’ve done reflects that…counselling, pastoring, coaching. But it’s also part of being a husband, father, friend and business owner. My purpose permeates all of those things.

You might be saying, “You get all that from Jason Bourne or Daniel Kaffee?” Well, yes, I guess I am saying that. The themes of my favorite movies connect with the themes of my life and they point me towards why I am here and what I am to do.

Does It Matter?

We want our lives to matter. We want our lives to have an impact. We want to make a difference. At least the majority of individuals I come in contact want those things.

But is that the reality of most people? Is that your experience? If you’re stuck, perhaps taking time to reflect on your favorite movies will give you the clues you need to understand your purpose.

You are uniquely equipped to carry out your God-given purpose. Don’t give up discovering what it is.

Watch your favorite movie, maybe it will help.

Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.

 

What Can You Learn From a 12-Year-Old? Quite a Lot Actually.

6 Life-Lessons From A Ventriloquist

I’m not a big fan of TV shows like “The Voice” or “The World of Dance” (I’m sorry to all of you who are) but I have become a fan of one in particular.

Actually, I’ve never seen the show, at least not on TV but I have seen enough clips to become interested. I’ve seen excerpts from “America’s Got Talent” and some of the performers are quite incredible. Most recently I came across a 12-year-old named Darci Lynne. If you haven’t seen her yet, you can check out her audition here…

Darci Lynne on America’s Got Talent

I’ve watched this audition a few times now and I’m impressed with so many things about Darci and I think we can all learn some valuable lessons from her too. Here are some of my takeaways…

Our Struggles Can Be a Point of Contribution

Darci admitted to being extremely shy and struggled to make eye contact with others. But instead of resigning herself to being “that way” she took action. She asked for a puppet and got to work. Her struggle became motivation for change but also for impact. If Darci gave in to her shyness the world would never know her and she would have missed out on the impact she is now having.

Is your deepest pain a current struggle or a past experience you just can’t shake? Is it something that defines you (according to you). What difference would it make if you saw your pain or deepest wound as an opportunity? What have you learned from it and how can it help someone else?

“The place of our deepest pain, can be the point of our greatest contribution”

Success Takes Time & Commitment

The judges were impressed with how far Darci had come in two years of practice. It does seem like a short time to hone her skills, but it still was significant. She actually had spent almost 20% of her life to ventriloquism. That’s a huge chunk of her 12 years. I wonder how many of us have committed 20% of our lives to something important to us?

What do you think would happen if have if you gave 20% of your life to something important to you? Or even 10 or 5? What kind of positive changes could you make…to your health, your closest relationships, your career, your hidden talent or your secret dream? Do you think it might make a difference in someone’s else’s life?

“Successful people and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities, but in their desire to reach their potential.” John Maxwell

When Something “Clicks” Respond

Darci saw a ventriloquist at her church and “something clicked”. Have you ever experienced a moment like that? That “aha moment” when your interest and focus went in a particular direction. Maybe a spiritual awakening of sorts? Has God lead you, spoke to you or encouraged you (maybe by using others to do so) to do something specifically?

I think for many, the tendency is to think about all the reasons we can’t do something or why it won’t work rather than to embrace the challenge and take the next steps to making it happen.

The Bible tells us God has things  for us to do…do you know what they are? What’s stopping you from doing them?

Our Greatest Accomplishments Are On the Other Side of Fear

Fear is without a doubt one of the most debilitating emotions we experience. It can keep us from so many things. But in my experience, fear is not an indicator to avoid something but the motivation to do it.

If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do that you’re not doing now?

Humility Is Attractive

For me, the most enjoyable auditions on America’s Got Talent (or Britain’s Got Talent) are the people who don’t even know how good they are. They may perform with the hopes of being accepted and affirmed but they do so with humility.

No one really likes a cocky, arrogant person do they? I think this type of attitude can sabotage so many areas of our lives.

But Darci seems like such a sweet girl who had no idea the response she would garner that night. It made her performance all the more inspiring and compelling and you just couldn’t help but celebrate what she did.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself.” Phil 2:3

We All Need a Support System

Darci didn’t get to the stage and eventually the “live show” alone…she had a lot of support. Her parents purchased the puppet, the family encouraged her and they were there back stage and in the crowd rooting for her. Who do you think was more nervous?

We are not designed to do life alone. Whether single, married, a student or grandparent, we were made for relationships that provide love, encouragement, direction, accountability and strength and they give us opportunity to do the same in return.

Who in your life could use some encouragement? What are the opportunities right around you?

I’ll keep watching clips from America’s Got Talent but I won’t soon forget Darci…and all she has taught us.

Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.

 

How To Move Forward When Life Goes Sideways (Part 2)

I was not a good student growing up, especially once I entered high school. I struggled to see the connection between what I was being taught and my life. I wasn’t even considering that this information could be valuable at a later date.

For example, I really didn’t do well in math. I couldn’t understand why I had to learn things like algebra and functions and equations. It was painful sitting in those classes which is why I did, as little as possible.

As I said, I struggled to make a connection between what I was suppose to learn and why it was so important to learn it.

Take geometry for example.

One of the few lessons I remember was that “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.” That might be well and good in geometry but in real life it just isn’t true.

Let me explain.

As much as we my plan, learn, prepare and execute the things we want to do in our lives, life usually doesn’t work out the way we think it will…it just doesn’t.

In my last post I shared a situation that turned my world upside down…something I didn’t see coming…and something that took time to recover from. You can read it here.

But that’s life isn’t it?

Here’s the problem as I see it.

In life, we want things to be “up and to the right”, in other words, we want things to improve in a smooth trajectory…on a graph it would be a straight line from the bottom left to the upper right.

The problem is, life doesn’t work that way…not usually.

How do I know? Here’s what I’ve come to believe; almost nothing of significance happens without a struggle, without challenges and even failures or setbacks along the way.

Consider the following…

  • raising children
  • a loving marriage relationship
  • starting a business
  • finishing a school year
  • completing a degree
  • finishing a work project on time
  • moving up the corporate ladder
  • leading an organization
  • running a capital campaign
  • running a marathon
  • learning a new skill
  • saving for a home or retirement (remember 2008?)
  • developing a strong friendship

Success, however you define it, is never a straight line. Up and to the right doesn’t exist.

“Running a Company is Like Staring Into the Abyss and Eating Glass” Elon Musk

Before we opened our cafe two years ago, I tried to learn as much as possible. One of the first books I read was “The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster” by Darren Hardy. The title alone gives you a clue that running a business is anything but a smooth ride. I love roller coasters but…

The Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is Not a Straight Line But a Zig Zag

I love the Old Testament story of when the Israelites are finally released from slavery in Egypt and lead by Moses toward their Promised Land. (If you watched “The 10 Commandments” featuring Charlton Heston and Yul Brynner, then you get the gist of the story).

The promise of a land for the Jewish people was made hundreds of years before (see Genesis 12 & 15) and now after 400 years oppression by the Egyptians they were free to enjoy the promise fulfilled.

In this story then, Egypt is Point A and the promised land is Point B.

From Goshen in Egypt (Point A) to Canaan (Point B) was about a 10-day journey. In fact there was a clear road to get there, known as the “Way of the (Mediterranean) Sea” or the “Way of the Philistines” (remember David & Goliath) because it passed through Philistine territory.

10 days! The Jewish people were 10 days from settling into their new home. They were that close.

But for some reason God took them in the opposite direction.

“When Pharoah let the people go, God did not lead them on the road to the Philistines though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they may change their minds and return to Egypt.” So God led them around the desert, south toward the Red Sea.” Exodus 13:17-18

Whatever God’s reasons, the straight way, the shortest way, was not the best way. The straight line was more dangerous. God could see that, even if the people could not.

That’s what life is like isn’t it?

I don’t understand it, but from my own experience, I know that it’s during the zig zags of life that we tend to learn, grow, change get stronger, get more vulnerable, get smarter and trust more. At least those things can happen if we allow them to.

You see, I knew I was wasting time on geometry. The shortest distance between two points is not a straight line…at least not in life.

What do you think?

How have you experienced zig zags instead of up and to the right in your life? What did you learn?

Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 45-minute discovery call. Let’s talk.

Another Objection to “Living Your Best Life Now”

Last week I addressed a question that I was asked in response to my current series of posts titled, “Live Your Best Life Now.” The question suggested that pursuing our best life now, was a selfish pursuit. You can read more about it here.

Today, I’d like to raise another (legitimate) concern. In another conversation I had recently, someone asked if “all this talk about pursuing our dreams and setting long -range goals…” was an indication of discontentment. “Shouldn’t we just be content with who we are?” They quoted from the Bible to support their assumption, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” (1 Timothy 6:6)

I think this is a great question and one to be considered carefully. Paul, wrote those words and also, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances…whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in want or in plenty.” (Phil 4:11)

Perhaps at first glance it does appear that pursuit of our best life now is at odds with the command to be content.

Contentment seems to be a mindset about our current circumstances, especially as it relates to what we have, or don’t have. Whether you and I have much or little, our contentment is not dictated by that.

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Content or Comfortable

What if contentment is an excuse for comfort (dare I say laziness). In the Bible, contentment appears to be an attitude rather than an achievement. It also is closely connected with money or lack of it. Contentment cannot be achieved with more money. The love and pursuit of money, is a result of a lack of contentment.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” – Socrates

But does contentment in our current circumstances preclude us from pursuing goals, following our dreams and passions, or wanting to grow and change?

Divine Discontent

Ralph Waldo Emerson talked about the concept— “divine discontent.”

“I see young men, my townsmen, whose misfortune it is to have inherited farms, houses, barns, cattle, and farming tools; for these are more easily acquired than got rid of. Better if they had been born in the open pasture and suckled by a wolf, that they might have seen with clearer eyes what field they were called to labor in.”

“It is my belief that authentic vocational success is tied to our spiritual well-being—the identification of those inner gifts and talents that need to be used for us to feel fulfilled. Now I don’t want this to be so “spiritual” that we can’t find real application, but work has to provide more than just an income.” – Dan Miller

It’s Not About Getting More, It’s About Being More

What are your dreams and passions? What do you want? “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. ” (Psalm 37:4)

What are the skills and abilities you have been blessed with. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)

Pat Flynn says we all have an “unfair advantage” based on our personal experiences, our story and our abilities. What comes naturally to you that doesn’t for others? We tend to minimize the things that come easy or natural to us. We see them as unimportant or simply things that anyone can do.

Do you know your calling? (not your career or job) “We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:10)

“God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” 1 Peter 4:10)

The Lazy Servant

Jesus tells a story about three servants who were entrusted with a certain amount of money unique to each of them. The first 2 put it to work, but the third did nothing with it and was chastised for it. (Matt 25:14-23) Why? Because he was given something with which he did nothing! Was he content to simply hide the money until his boss came back? Or was he too lazy to put it to work? 

What have you been given? Time, gifts, abilities, health, relationships, work and our resources. How are you using what you have?

Maybe contentment is being satisfied with what we have (verses comparing what we have to what others have) but not an excuse for not pursuing what we can become.

The issue isn’t what we have or how much we have, but what we do with what we have.  

So what do you think? Are you content? Can we experience contentment and discontent at the same time?

Does contentment mean we shouldn’t pursue our best life now? Why or why not?

I’d love to hear your thoughts…leave me a message below.

 

If you have questions or would like to explore life coaching but you’re not sure where to begin, contact me to arrange an initial free 30 minute Discovery Call. Let’s talk.

5 Benefits of a Life Coach

And Why I Have One

John is an accountant who works for a large firm. He has enjoyed a lot of success, earning a significant income and his future at the company seems bright. He lives in a comfortable home in a nice neighbourhood and enjoys a stable family life with his wife and three children. John is active in his church, enjoys good health and worries about very little.

John is also miserable. His life is so busy that he never seems to have time to relax or to reflect on where his life is at or where it’s going. Solitude or meaningful activities are elusive and he tires of the treadmill he finds himself on. In a word, he feels “stuck”.

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You may know someone like John, in fact you may be like John. You are enjoying a measure of success in your career and family life but you have this nagging feeling that there might be more to life. You can’t put your finger on it but you feel dissatisfied with where you are at. What do you do when you feel stuck? Where do you turn?

What is Life Coaching?

In the 1500″s the word Coach described a horse-drawn carriage designed to “take people from where they were to where they wanted to be.”

coach-ride-1-1451926

 

Today, coaches are not just for elite athletes. Most of us have benefitted from a coach at one time or another whether it be an athletics coach in high school, a nutritional coach, fitness coach, financial coach or public-speaking coach…the list goes on and on.

People come for coaching because they want something to change; they want something to be different. Coaching is about making changes. For many change is intimidating and difficult to do on our own.

  • Coaches walk with people through life transitions and other change.
  • Coaches facilitate communication and better relationships.
  • Coaches stimulate vision
  • Coaches enable people to set and reach goals.
  • Coaches speak truth in love
  • Coaches facilitate improvement

The goal of coaching is to leave each person being coached, with

  • increased self-confidence,
  • clearer direction and
  • greater fulfillment than he or she would have had otherwise.

 

“Coaching is the art and practice of enabling individuals to move from where they are to where they want to be.” Gary Collins

 

5 Benefits of a Life Coach?

  1. Clarity. A life coach will help you gain clarity on your values, life purpose and goals.  setting your goals with a clear plan of action to reach those goals. Coaching is more than talk, it’s action.
  2. Action. Closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be, takes action. A life coach will help you determine the necessary steps you want to take to accomplish your goals.
  3. Vision. A life coach will have your back and your blindspots. You don’t go it alone.
  4. Confidence. There are many ways that we limit and hold ourselves back.  There are things that we want to do, but often aren’t doing simply because we don’t have the belief or confidence in ourselves. A life coach gives you a stronger sense of belief and self-confidence.
  5. Accessibility. A life coach offers a relationship not limited by location. My coach lives in Atlanta, GA. We have been working together for 18 months now but the distance has not hindered our work together. In fact it just gets better and better. Life coaching can be done in person  but also by telephone or the internet.

Hiring a life coach has been one of the most important decisions I’ve made. She has helped gain clarity around the changes I wanted to make in my life, and the plan to reach my goals.

Action Steps:

  • If you think this post would be helpful for someone you know, would you share it with them? Click the social media share buttons or email this post to a friend.
  • If you would like to explore coaching for yourself, simply complete the form below to arrange a NO OBLIGATION,  COMPLIMENTARY  30-MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to My Blog

My name is Dan Barber…welcome to my blog.

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A Little Background

My life took a turn in early 2014. It wasn’t a dramatic change at the time,  I simply began asking questions about myself and my life.  Up to that point I had enjoyed various ministry roles including the church I was serving at, Connexus Community Church. I have been blessed with a wonderful wife, now 26 years and a 20 year old daughter and 18 year old son.

My family life was good and my ministry was meaningful. I have watched our children grow into amazing young adults and I have enjoyed the privilege of serving in 3 great churches, as well as counselling in private practice. Yet, believing that my best years were in front of me I began to ask questions about my own future; Did I want to stay in my current role? Was there something else for me to do? With my children now young adults, were my options changing.

 

Why life coaching?

To help me process the questions I was asking, I enlisted the help of a life coach. And for the past eighteen months she has been coaching me through this process. It’s been an incredible journey together.

As we considered my personality, skills and passions she suggested, “Why don’t you do what I am doing.” That is when I began to explore the world of life coaching.

Then a detour. Early this year, my wife and I left our jobs to open a cafe – Em’s Cafe in Coldwater, Ontario. Crazy right? Well maybe, but owning a cafe was something we’ve been talking about 15 years; but it was only now that the pieces were coming together for it to become a reality. And on May 1, 2015, we opened Em’s Cafe and we are 5 months into this new adventure.

Perhaps you are at a place of transition or possible change too. I’ve been there…I’m still there and I know what it’s like to

  • ask hard questions about the future,
  • consider making changes while others question it
  • believe that change was needed but uncertain about where to start or what it would mean for my family
  • leave the security of a job and paycheque to follow after a dream.
  • face the fear of the unknown

 

My Goal For This Blog

Through my blog I will address life questions we all have from time to time and offer helpful content that I trust will give you the clarity, courage, and commitment you need to address the areas of your life that you’d like to see change…ie relationships, health, finances, faith, careers & personal development & growth.

My passion is helping others find theirs. I believe each one of us is uniquely gifted through our personalities, abilities, passions, hopes and dreams and that it’s never too late to make the changes necessary to live your best life now.

That’s what this site and life coaching is about. Helping you overcome the barriers and obstacles that hinder you from taking the steps necessary to live the life you want to live. I’ll be 50 later this year and I believe my best years are in front of me and I believe they are for you as well.

If that is you, then you’re in the right place and whether through this site or one-on-one coaching I’m glad we’re on this journey together…Welcome.

 

Dan