The new year has arrived which means most of us have at least considered the changes we’d like to see happen this year. If your inbox is like mine, you’ve had more than your share of blogs, webinars and course on how to achieve more and succeed this year.
There is one question that I think needs to be answered before going any farther however. Answering this one question is crucial to future success but one that many don’t have an answer for…here it is.
What do you really want?
But many people I run into don’t seem to have a clear answer. They just don’t know what they want for their life. There are probably many reasons for this, but let me suggest just a few.
We don’t take the time
Hey, I get it. Life is busy and there are seasons where we can hardly stop long enough to take a breath, let alone set aside the time needed to reflect and consider what we really want in the future.
We want too many things
One of the reasons resolutions fizzle out and our goals fade is because we try to do too many things…make too many changes. We end up trying to make so many changes we end up making none. We get discouraged after effort doesn’t translate into real change. If you have 20 goals for this year, you’ve already set yourself up to fail.
We don’t want anything
The statistics don’t lie. The majority of resolutions made on Jan 1 are abandoned within the first couple of months. It stands to reasons, that the more goals you’ve failed at reaching the less motivated you may become. Maybe you just don’t think it’s possible anymore. If you have no goals for this year, you’re set yourself up for boredom.
We think it’s wrong to ask the question
I think for some, they feel this question is too selfish. If you’re a person of faith, you might believe that it’s wrong to think about what you want. I address this in detail here, but here I would simply suggest that our wants and desires are not necessarily selfish but necessary. They reflect who we are and how we are uniquely created by God. Plus, if you think about it, most of our lives are made up of choices we make which must in some way reflect what we want…where we live, the job we choose, the activities we engage in on the weekend, the people we hang out with, what we eat, how we spend our time and money…from paint colours to life partners…all reflect our wants to some degree, don’t they?
Another reason so many resolutions fail is because they are often things we don’t really want to do. Do you want to lose 30lbs really? If not, you’ll likely quit sooner than later. Do you really want to read through the Bible? There’s nothing wrong with reading the Bible, even the entire thing in a year. But if you set out to do it because someone else did it or it sounds like the spiritual thing to do, you’ll likely get to Leviticus then check out. Do you really want to read 75 books this year? Do you really want to run a marathon? You get what I’m saying, right?
So what do you want? What do you really want? Not sure yet? Here are some suggestions.
- Give yourself permission. Allow yourself the freedom to think freely.
- Give yourself time. Start with 15 minutes. Turn off your phone, the TV and your computer and sit quietly and ask yourself; “What do I want?” Give yourself 15 minutes a day until you can clearly start to get clarity about what you want.
- Give yourself specific answers that reflect your season of life, not someone elses. Consider your health, wealth (building, saving and giving) personal growth and relationships…where are you strong and where can you grow?
Q. What will you regret not doing, looking back 12 months from now?
Q. What do you want to do but are afraid to do? (Fear is often a clue that it’s something to pursue)
Q. What have others encouraged you to do?
Q. If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you try?
Feeling stuck? Not sure what to do next? Your life not where you want it to be? Life coaching can help. Contact me to arrange a free 30-minute discovery call. Lets talk.